I'm not suppposed to be here right now.

So we were supposed to leave today but I had to film this thing that's going to be playing behind a band while they're headlining on tour. It was freezing cold, not to mention raining, and this girl Dana and I had to frolic around in little sun dresses and be... "kinda" gay? I think it woulda been a lottt of fun had I not been totally numb and it was extremely painful after a moment.

Also the car won't be fixed until 10:00 am tomorrow.

I kinda feel like I'm completely disconnected from this world. I feel like... I can't find anything to talk to people about. Maybe it's my a.d.d. people talk but I just can't find a way to hear them. They say something and I really.... it just... doesn't register. I won't remember it after two minutes. I also feel like I can't have serious conversations or anything. I see people I used to be really good friends with and something's just not there.

I used to be so friendly and fun and people usually found comfort in talking to me. I feel like I'm digressing or something. I feel like I'm someone else entirely.

xxMars.

This is really cool

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/loaded-barrel-studios/1960345907
http://omnicomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/brielle-and-horror-loaded-barrel.html


Just so I don't forget:
read:

how I learned to Drive by paula vogel (i think)
This property is condemned by Tennessee Williams
Impro by Keith John Stone
A life by Ilya Kazan

I thought this would happen.

I went out with a few friends, after which we went to my friend Tim's house. After a few intense hours two other guys came over which I hadn't seen in a million years either. Before I left one of the kids started talking shit about one of my best friends. The next thing I knew...

I was bending down over him (he was sitting on the couch) with my hand inches away from his face telling him to shut the fuck up or I'd bitch slap him into tomorrow or something. I was so serious. everyone was surprised and speechless and just staring at me. I really was about to slap him until my friend got me away from him. I'm so proud of myself. It was OD.


ALSO!

I saw Iron Man. If you haven't seen it, you're losing at life as we speak. It was sooo good. Robert Downey Junior really blew me away. I don't normally like gwenyth paltrow but she was brilliant as well. I actually cared about her and was screaming save pepper at the movie theater. Stay past the credits if you want some secret information :)


has anybody heard of the hulk world wars?

xxMars.