I'm not suppposed to be here right now.

So we were supposed to leave today but I had to film this thing that's going to be playing behind a band while they're headlining on tour. It was freezing cold, not to mention raining, and this girl Dana and I had to frolic around in little sun dresses and be... "kinda" gay? I think it woulda been a lottt of fun had I not been totally numb and it was extremely painful after a moment.

Also the car won't be fixed until 10:00 am tomorrow.

I kinda feel like I'm completely disconnected from this world. I feel like... I can't find anything to talk to people about. Maybe it's my a.d.d. people talk but I just can't find a way to hear them. They say something and I really.... it just... doesn't register. I won't remember it after two minutes. I also feel like I can't have serious conversations or anything. I see people I used to be really good friends with and something's just not there.

I used to be so friendly and fun and people usually found comfort in talking to me. I feel like I'm digressing or something. I feel like I'm someone else entirely.

xxMars.